Holding On
by nellchan0013
Summary: Sometimes, when life gets to be too much, all we can do is hold on and find the strength to move forward. But even that seems a challenge at times. A Valentine's Day One-shot for PermanentNerd. OCxOC, T to be safe.


Holding On

No one knows how life will end up, the road a winding, twisting path that takes one through many ups and downs, highs and lows. We don't rely on signs that tell us what to do or help us out. All we can do is trust our hearts and go for the ride. And sometimes, life throws you a curveball- one moment, you'll be on a cloud nine and the next moment, in the darkest moment you have ever faced. This is the story of two lovers whose lives were seemingly like any others, but with a love that hurt the heart with its rightness. This is the story of how sudden life can be given and taken and how, even in the darkest moments of our lives, all we need to do is _hold on_.

**Disclaimer: **Pokémon rightfully belongs to Nintendo. Matthew and Brayden belong to Oh_My_Arceus, Annette and Leah to Permi, Elodie to Rainbow, and Virgil to Hectic. They can all be found on Gaia. So, really, I just own the sadness of this whole one-shot. The Audition also does not belong to me.

"It's not the years of your life that count  
It's the life in your years  
That makes all the difference."

-The Audition, "Can You Remember?"

* * *

The rain fell onto the ground, coating the cemetery with water, darkening the gray headstones as the stone absorbed the liquid into them. He stared at the sight, hands in the pocket on his jeans as rain enveloped his form and drenched his clothing, cooling his skin. He didn't mind- all he could focus his eyes on was the headstone. Had it already been six years? It only felt like yesterday that he had come to see her buried, only yesterday that the pain of losing her ripped into his soul and tore him up inside. Six years. And he had come a long way.

_Let's go back to the beginning_

Matthew Formina was born on July 6th in the hospital at Slateport city. His hometown, Pacifidlog, didn't really have the adequate places for a safe delivery to be made and so, early on, his mother and father had decided to have Matthew delivered in Slatport like his older brother, Brayden, had been.

A healthy boy with dark hair and dark eyes, Brayden-brown haired and brown eyed- and Matthew looked nothing alike. Brayden was his mom's son and Matthew his dad's. Which was a shame really, seeing as their father had booked it a few months after Matthew's birth. While it didn't seem to affect his mother (nor Brayden for that matter), Matthew always found it uncomfortable. But then, Brayden would be Brayden and his mother would have to stop the idiot from hurting himself.

Even at a young age, Matthew had always known he and Brayden were radical opposites. Matthew rarely cried as a baby and Brayden…he was reckless, goofy, and too inquisitive for his own good. So, on Brayden's tenth birthday (the year Matthew was four), their mother, deciding to be safe, gave her eldest son an Igglybuff.

Far from actually keeping Brayden out of trouble, it propelled him further into it. A year and two months after having left home, Brayden called his mom from Viridian's Center. Matthew had overheard the whole conversation and, at the age of seven, was unaware of how the phone call would completely change his life.

Apparently, Brayden had discovered the whereabouts of their 'missing' father and had decided to go after him. Frankly, Matthew believed that their mother had dropped Brayden on his head one too many times and that she _really_ shouldn't have let him go diving because really, Corsola had hard heads and he was pretty sure that Brayden had headbutted them one too many times.

Turns out, Brayden, even with his team and Jigglypuff, had almost gotten shot by some girl (ha! He wasn't living that down! She was a few years younger than him too, so _there!_). But the girl hadn't really wanted to shoot him (even if the bullet in his leg had said otherwise), and was _supposed _to have killed him, but compassion and stuff and all the mushy things little girls feel had stopped her.

Her name was Leah Verdandi and her father was the leader of the mafia of Kanto. Brayden really knew how to pick his messes. But Brayden and Leah became friends almost instantly and, as he continued his journey to become a journalist, Matthew gradually began to establish a communication with the eldest Verdandi.

He met Annette Verdnandi when he was nine. She was only seven back then, and she was a frail little angel: wide, beautiful blue eyes that could put Pacifidlog's waters to shame, and golden hair that fell into curls around her shoulders. Brayden teased him endlessly for his dumbstruck look and 'sappy choice of words'. Of course, Brayden had already met Annette: she was like a little sister he was planning to baby one day. Matthew had gone with Brayden to Viridian when his brother was thirteen because he had promised to escort Leah around the regions- the only way her dad would even consider letting the "Princess" out of his sight. Apparently, it took Annette's "wounded Growlite" look for their dad to cave.

So, Leah, bearing a Houndoour (apparently, they were fierce and fiercely loyal), became Brayden's traveling partner and Matthew and Annette had a chance to talk, get to know each other, and then exchange numbers.

He spent a good portion of the next few years studying dutifully. Matthew had never wanted to become a Pokémon Trainer, but his mother had gotten him a Cleffa (for some strange reason, Lucia had always been the one who had bought girly Pokemon for her sons, but Matthew wasn't complaining). She was a nice Pokemon, very tame and liked to follow Matthew around Rustboro (where he was studying abroad at the Trainer's school).

When he was twelve, he received a surprise visitor who showed up at his host family's door one early February morning: Annette Verdandi and her (somewhat) newly received Pachirisu. Her smile was timid and her feet shuffled nervously as she glanced at Matthew, her eyes still that same vivid blue- they hadn't talked since their last letter two weeks prior.

"Hey, Matthew...um, I was wondering...could you be my travel partner?" She asked quietly, her voice dropping to a whisper with every word, her face hiding behind her Pachirisu, which she had been clutching in her arms like a doll.

Matthew's Cleffa, who had taken her customary position clutching at his hair while resting atop his head of dark hair, waved happily to the younger girl and her Electric type Pokemon. With a bright, "Cle!" She motioned for them to move inside the home, giving Matthew a look that _dared _him to say no.

So, that night, Matthew and his host family ended up inviting Annette to stay over for dinner and ultimately, the night, as the girl could share the room with Matthew's host sister, who, interestingly enough, was an Electric-fanatic, and gushed over Pachirisu while Cleffa befriended Annette's _other _Pokemon, a Cherubi. She was still Daddy's Little Girl.

The next morning, Matthew accompanied Annette to the Rustboro Contest, the whole reason she'd started a journey anyway. While Matthew walked alongside her, she explained with bright and passionate eyes and wide gesticulations why she wanted to be a Coordinator: apparently, despite showing a great knack for battling, she'd always been particular to bringing out the beauty in not only people, but Pokemon. Her goal was to one day be a Top Coordiantor. Or a famous designer, whichever came first, she jokingly told Matthew.

As he took his seat in the stands, trying his best to find a seat as close to the stage as possible, Matthew found that he was suddenly nervous for Annette. He still saw her as slightly innocent and new to the Pokemon world, despite her having her two partners for about two or three months.

Number Nine was called to the stage, Annette Verdandi, from Viridian City of Kanto. Out came her Cherubi, all cute smiles, green leaves and plump, round cherry body. With a smile, the first move was called out, and a calming Grasswhistle floated through the venue, and, from the green leaves of the Cheubi emanated a sweet-smelling scent: simply known as Sweet Scent.

Annette made it to the second round, but lost against her opponent, who obviously had had more experience in battling and Contests in general. Matthew was there for her, to help calm her down and convince her that one loss didn't mean she should give up her dream of being a Coordinator. It had been one of the only times he's ever seen Annette so down and almost _broken. _Mathew knew that he didn't want to see that ever again.

With chins held high, they continued on around the region, Annette and Matthew working on combinations for her Pokémon as they hit the Gym Circuit, as the Contests seemed to be in that order. Matthew caught his first Pokémon when they were in Granite Cave in Dewford, eight days after Annett's first Contest and her first loss. It was a Makuhita, who Matthew had forgone nicknaming: he didn't think he'd do that to a Pokémon. Annette practiced combinations and managed to reach second place in her second Contest. They spent the rest of the week hanging out at the beach and watching Brawley surf as they practiced with their Pokémon.

The third contest was one that they trained hard for. Matthew and Annette had found themselves in Slateport City and the beach, the wonderful beach there was the backdrop of their training sessions and they met a few people there too: namely a pair of "rivals" who were taking a break from the Gym Circuit before they would head to Mauville to challenge Wattson. Her name was Aislinn and she was a tough Trainer, but she had enough of a soft side to help Annette out with her battling and with some other combinations, even allowed the girl to spar with her team, Aislinn's own team taking a "beating" for Annette to see what she needed to practice on. His name was Aiden and he, well, he told Matthew that he had been roped along for the ride because apparently, Aislinn owed him something. Aiden and Matthew exchanged a few notes, both of them having been meticulous students before being roped into this whole thing.

Matthew was scared out of his mind for the Slateport Contest. But he shouldn't have worried. Annette won her third Contest, Pachirisu's Discharge sealing the deal for her. Annette was elated for a week and a half as they made their way from Slateport to Mauville.

They spent a year travelling around the Hoenn Region, Annette losing some Contests and winning her needed five Ribbons before the Grand Festival. In that time, Annette had added to her team, catching a Swablu while they're near Fallarbor and a Skitty when they pass through Rustboro once again on their way to the Grand Festival's site. Matthew added a Boboach to his team, near when Annette caught her Swablu, and an Absol, one that found them while in Fortree.

At Hoenn's Grand Festival, Annette's a large bundle of nerves and while she makes it past the preliminaries, things are going rocky. She made it to the top 32 before she falls. Matthew helped her through that as well, and it reminded him of her first Contest, but this time, there's a phone call from Leah and Brayden offering their own versions of cheering up, as well as a call from their two old friends that they met in Slateport: Aislinn and Aiden had some very colorful things to say about the person who beat Annette, almost as bad as what Leah and Brayden had said.

And then he turned thirteen, her eleven. Neither of them were brave enough yet to venture into Kanto, where Annette's dad still had a firm hold on everything underground. So, they went to Sinnoh instead and a whole new world was opened to Annette as the Super Contests were slightly different from Hoenn's dynamics. With the introduction of Seals and the potential of tag-team battles, Annette and Matthew worked hard to redevelop and embellish her style. While in Sinnoh, Annette completed her team, adding a Chingling and a Feebas to the mix while they're briefly in Mt. Coronet . Matthew chooses to capture only a Budew.

The only Contest they missed was one in Snowpoint and that was because Annette's body was too weak to withstand the harsh temperatures, but it didn't matter. She won her fifth ribbon at the Contest in Sunnyshore. And because they had time before the Festival, they spent as much time as they could in the city where the Eighth Sinnoh Gym was housed. By that time, Annette's team consisted of: Pachirisu, Cherrim, an almost evolved Swablu, a Chingling, a Milotic and a strong Skitty. Matthew's team has gained considerable strength as well, because he's been battling to see the dynamics of it and someone has to take care of the wild Pokémon. His team consisted of: Clefairy, Hariyama, Whiscash, Absol, and Roselia.

At the Sinnoh Grand Festival, Brayden and Leah are there and they yelled themselves hoarse trying to cheer for Annette. The respective nineteen and sixteen year olds have made quite a name for themselves across the circuit (well, Leah has, Brayden's just been writing various pieces for Jublife). Annette's nerves were better this time around, and Matthew was sure it was because of her sister being there. This time, with her Milotic and Skitty, she managed to reach the top sixteen. And she doesn't feel bad this time.

Brayden and Leah depart for Hoenn two weeks after the Festival. Matthew and Annette head to Johto first, stopping only for a few months because of a sudden attack on Annette's health. Matthew finally catches his last Pokémon: a Skamory, before they're off to Kanto, Annette working hard with her mostly evolved team (Skitty has yet to find a Moon Stone) to snag up her five ribbons, her last on coming in with the last Contest before the Festival.

At the Kanto Grand Festival, Annette is determined. It was a scary look to her normally happy and caring face, but it works. Anentte after all, is a Verdandi. She wins the Cup, Pachirisu and Cherrim taking out the competition for their Coordinator, this victory a victory for them that has been evading them for three Cups. And Matthew, he's there to cherish the memory and remember it fondly.

Because Annette was hospitalized when she was fourteen.

It was two years after her amazing and too memorable win in Kanto did her heart give out. His sixteenth year was spent just travelling leisurely and at sixteen and three quarters, he confessed his feelings to her. They weren't feelings that had sprung up randomly overnight. No, these feelings had been planted there after their first meeting and steadily grew over their time together. She told him that she thought that she felt the same way, but that it was most likely because of the time they'd spent in each other's company. So they departed from each other, to see if the feelings would still be there should they have met each other again. It was ironic because that same month, Leah and Brayden were "married", to help Leah escape from her father.

Annette's heart gave out seven weeks after her fourteenth birthday. She was revived at the hospital, but her time on the road was immediately cut off because of her condition. Matthew continued to travel on his own, this time heading to the newly discovered Isshu Region, where he managed to evolve the rest of his team and send Annette a Moon Stone for her Skitty as a 'get-well' gift. It was in Isshu where he decided to actually begin doing something for life.

He met the region's Professor, Araragi while they were in Hiun City . She was a nice person, very bubbly and she almost reminded him of Brayden. Except, the Professor was smart. Through him, he met the other Professors of the other regions and he sort of decided to work under them when he was able to. They helped him formulate what he wanted to do. Soon after that, Matthew went back to school. And not two months after that, Annette and Leah's father passed away from a bullet wound. Leah became the head of the family and Annette…well, it became even more impossible for her to continue Coordinating, especially while still in the hospital.

For the rest of his sixteenth year, he studied and found the stone to help Roselia evolve into Roserade. He trained them regularly while he was at school, but while he was sixteen and seventeen, he studied hard and he was accepted into a top college in Snowpoint. Bad location, but great program, he surmised. And he had just been there for a few months when Brayden had called him to accompany him on his newest assignment.

Brayden had been a professional journalist since Matthew was fourteen- when he and Annette were in Johto and Kanto. He and Leah had parted ways soon after their fake marriage (it was technically an elopement). He'd been working for Jublife since then and, after a long period in the Sevii Islands , was finally allowed back to Jublife for the next big thing to hit Sinnoh and all the regions.

A pseudo battle of the bands. With Sinnoh hosting the first few events and then the bands moving across the regions. It was a pretty huge thing and, later on, Matthew found out, a huge publicity stunt. Turned out that band members had to marry someone else in a different band. It was some pretty trippy things that he was glad he wasn't a part of.

Anyway, so he and Brayden are driving to the house that the bands and the make-up artists and bodyguards and media are to stay at and he drops the bomb on Matthew. Apparently, Annette and Leah are supposed to be there. And this girl that Brayden's been interested in for a while, Elodie. It's interesting because Brayden's never shown a serious interest in someone before. Matthew's figured that Brayden's the type of guy who knows that the first person he dates will be The One. Except that sounded all Matrix-y and Matthew laughed at the image of Brayden as Neo. Because he totally would have screwed up that whole movie series.

It's awkward at first for him and Annette when they meet each other and their teams are just catching up with each other and all that when Matthew can't take it and kisses Annette full on the lips. Technically, it's illegal- he's eighteen and she's sixteen. He's even got a "part-time" job with Rowan, helping the Professor organize his data and all that. But he doesn't care; Annette's kissing him back and his Pokémon and her Pokémon are cheering in the background as if they've been waiting for this to happen. Which, really, they have. For….almost a decade.

Hand in hand, Matthew and Annette greet Leah and Brayden and…Elodie. Elodie's this adorable red-head who needs more than heels to be able to even reach Brayden's chest. She's that tiny. But Matthew found out fast that her spunk made up for it. In a way, she's like Clefable, Matthew's own spunky Pokémon. Elodie, however, is definitely not just a weak Trainer. This girl knows how to handle her Pokémon: she's got a Ninetales, a Blissey, Mightyena, Noctowl, Mismagius, and a Milotic (and he figured that _that's _how Annette's own Milotic is so amazing) and they're stong. Immediately, Matthew knew that Brayden was hopelessly in love with Elodie because his older brother's a sap like that. But it's okay with Matthew because he _likes _Elodie and he likes that she makes his brother happy.

It's Leah and the bodyguard that trips him out. Because…he honestly couldn't imagine Leah ever falling for someone. Not for lack of beauty, but because Leah just never seemed to be the type to rely on a man. Especially not one like Virgil. But there's something oddly familiar about their relationship and he thinks back to the "couple" he met on Slateport when he was twelve. That's why he feels like Leah and Virgil could work. They seem to complement each other. The only hitch in their relationship (besides her being in the mafia and him having been previously in the army and all) is that there's this crazy band member that Virgil's supposed to protect that was trying to get in Virgil's pants, get rid of Leah and she almost took Annette to a bar.

Oddly enough, it was the last one that pissed Matthew off the most.

But the whole band ordeal is wrapped up in a bit and, when Matthew is nineteen, he becomes Best Man for Brayden and Elodie's wedding. They're absolutely adorable (Annette's words, not his) and Elodie is the perfect blushing bride for Brayden, who grins like an idiot, pretends to mess up his vows and kisses Elodie ten ways to Sunday before she official becomes Mrs. Brayden Formina. A week after they come back from their honeymoon, Matthew is best man once more for Virgil this time as Annette plays Maid of Honor for Leah. Brayden walked Leah down the aisle, making jokes the whole way and dodging Leah's kicks (which she still managed in a dress). This wedding, while more toned down than Brayden and Elodie's is crazy because six teams of Pokémon manage to make their way out of their Pokéballs. Besides Annette's, Matthew's and Elodie's Pokémon, Brayden's team- Wigglytuff, Bellosom, Honckrow, Lapras, Metagross, and Arcanine join the fray, followed by Virgil's team (a Pachirisu, Scizor, Blastoise, Dragonite, Duskull, and Electirvire) and to complete the party, Leah's own team- Houndoom, Staraptor, Shuppet, Dewgong, Gallade and an Ariados. Right.

Needless to say, the reception goes a bit crazy and somehow, after twelve Pokémon disappear…so do the bride and groom.

Matthew decided to marry her when she turned eighteen. He was twenty years old and he had just been offered a position from the Inter-Regional Association to move to Floaroma Town in Sinnoh to open up a small Trainer's school there, as well as help protect the town should anything occur with the Valley Windworks or the abandoned Fuego Ironworks. A few weeks before his move, he decided to take Annette out to a nice dinner with Brayden, Elodie, Leah and Virigl to help celebrate his new job.

She was scared about them maintaining a long-distance relationship, but Brayden, wearing a knowing smile the whole night and, Arceus bless his soul, even after the Growlithe eyes from Elodie and the kicks from Leah from under the table, refused to let past his lips the surprise he knew was going to happen. The Formina brothers had sort of decided to _not _ask Leah for her permission for Matthew to ask for Annette's hand for a few reasons: the main ones being that Leah would have told Elodie who would have accidentally spilled and because Matthew wanted to be alive to ask Annette. Virgil has no problem keeping a poker face and Matthw wanted to throw water at his face. Stoic bastard.

It was during dessert did Matthew finally ask Annette. Of course, he was afraid that Brayden was going to give the whole thing away, what with the looks he kept sending Matthew across the table. Right. Great older brother he had. Anyway, so while they're eating their sweets and laughing at Brayden because he's like a kid in a candy store, Matthew grabbed Annette's hand as he got down on one knee next to her and the whole damn restaurant fell to a dead silence, except for Leah and all she said was, "What the hell?" Matthew is going to get strangled later for the uninformed proposal, and they know it.

But right now, all Matthew can focus on is that Annette is staring at him with wide blue eyes, tears beginning to pool at the corners as her free hand flies to her mouth and, suddenly, the whole speech he had prepared for tonight with Brayden and (surprise, surprise) Virigl's help and that he's spent the past two weeks memorizing, is gone. Every single word is gone. All Matthew does is open his mouth and the words suddenly come tumbling out: "Annette, I've loved you since I was nine. Will you marry me?"

Brayden groans in the background and he muttered something about, "All the hard work going to waste..." While Elodie squeals in delight at the sheer "cuteness" of it all. How Brayden ended up with Elodie is something Matthew will never understand. Then Brayden fades back into the background because Annette dropped her hand slowly to her lap, a gentle smile on her face as the tears start pouring.

"Yes, Matthew. Yes."

xxx

The wedding is very simple and it's held a few months after they've moved into Floaroma Town . In fact, Elodie commented on how near perfect the wedding venue (the flower field just a few minutes walk from their home) is for someone like them. And they Brayden promptly swept her away to take care of some business before the actual wedding. Right. Some things never change.

Leah is, predictably, the maid of honor and Matthew has made Virgil best man because Matthew and Brayden had talked it over: Brayden was the Verdandi's substitute father and he was walking Annette down the aisle. It was the same as when Leah and Virigl were married: Brayden walked down his childhood friend and now, he was walking down his surrogate daughter. Brayden cried blubbering tears while walking Annette down the aisle and Matthew couldn't help but grin the entire time. His brother was such a girl.

"I'm crying for her, not because of me, you idiot." Brayden sniffs, giving Annette her last kiss from him as Annette Verdandi before she becomes Mrs. Matthew Formina. His brother gives Matthew one last punch on the shoulder before running to take his place.

The ceremony is short, sweet, and wholly encompasses the two being joined in holy matrimony. By the end of it, Annette and Elodie are in tears and Leah's just trying her damnedest not to shoot Matthew. Their honeymoon is held on the Sevii Islands- a wonderful week long cruise that is pure bliss because, Matthew repeats this over and over to Annette,

"We're married."

Transitioning from Viridian to Floaroma was easy for Annette and the clean air and fresh flowers does wonders for her health. They've been living there for a year, Matthew's school gaining more and more students every day. His and Annette's team help run the school and Roserade is at home in Floaroma. So is Cherrim.

Matthew's twenty-one when Leah has her first child. And he suddenly fears for the world because the child (read: spawn) of two of the most dangerous gun happy people ever _will _cause the world to end. Somehow. He can feel it in his bones.

But right now, the child is so….innocent that it tears Matthew up. Eve is this adorable little girl who looks like her mother and Brayden jokingly commented how Leah could've been that cute at one point in her life; he's seen the baby pictures. But Eve is just all giggles and laughs and Mathew is sure thus us one of the few times he's ever seen Virgil smile. Or have any emotion, quite honestly.

It scares him and makes him slightly pity Eve: any boy trying to date her will have to face Virgil _and_ Leah.

The following year, Virgil and Leah have another child (earning them a rather sarcastic comment from Brayden, which earns him a slap to the back of the head from Leah and kiss from Elodie to make it all better), and this time, it's a boy, named Vlad (Matthew jibes at the name, which almost earns him a slap from Leah, but Annette stops her)) and he too, looks like Leah, but in that subtle way that makes it Leah, but still a boy.

A year after that, his mom passes away. It _hurts_ Matthew and Brayden more than anyone can imagine and both take a few days off of work to head back to Pacifidlog to take care of funeral preparations. Lucia has been there for everything for them, was there to offer advice on how to win Elodie's and Annette's hearts. She's met them and she loved them dearly, even Leah and Virgil. But now she's gone and on her funeral day, Matthew and Brayden hold onto each other, crying for the loss of someone who can never be replaced. Their teams, especially Clefable and Wigglytuff, are mourning openly for the loss of Lucia Formina. And they're friends, their significant others, anyone who has ever known Lucia, cry with them.

Happiness returns to them nine months later, when Sophie Formina is born to Matthew and Annette on January 24. Days after, Brayden and Elodie have their first child, and Virgil and Leah bear twins not a week later. This generation of Trainers are all early month babies and Matthew fears for the world more than ever. Because this is the offspring of Brayden and Leah- his daughter's perfect, no matter what anyone says.

He's twenty-seven years old when the whole world comes crashing down around him. Annette's body can't take it anymore and on May 2nd, she passes away peacefully in her sleep. Numb when he discovers this, Matthew barely had time to call Brayden before breaking down. His Pokémon swarm him and her Pokémon swarm her still body, a last smile still on her face. The last thing Matthew remembers her saying to him was just before they went to bed.

"I will always love you."

She knew.

Leah calls him the moment he hangs up on Brayden. All the girl asks is, "Where's Annette?" Matthew's silence answers her and suddenly, Leah is cursing and sobbing and they hang up on each other as Matthew finds his strength to call the school and to wake up his four year old daughter to try and move forward at the moment.

But all he does is sit numb on the ground.

And when Sophie wanders into the room, accompanied by his Clefable and with Annette's Pachirisu clutched in her arms, he just hugs her and strokes her hair, deaf to her questions of "What's wrong, daddy?"

That's how Brayden finds him when he makes it to Floaroma Town from Jubilife.

Xxx

Annette's funeral is a horrible memory that is forever imprinted into Matthew's memory. It's raining tremendously that day, the heavens crying with them for the loss of a sister, a friend, a daughter, a lover and, a mother. Everyone is soaking during the procession but _no one cares. _Lifeless eyes view the white casket, as words fall onto deaf ears. Even Matthew doesn't know what he's saying and he knows that no one else does either. The worst is yet to come, however.

They're lowering Annette's casket into the rain soaked ground and as he watches, he knows that the only reason his face and his eyes are wet is because of the rain. It's not because of his tears. Matthew is _simply not crying _and he hates himself for it. And his daughter tugs on his sleeve, peeking out from under her umbrella , looking like her mother: an angel, only Sofie was figurative, Annette was literal now. Sofie looked exactly like Annette had: beautiful blond hair, and round, blue eyes that were expressive as she asked "Why are they putting mommy into the ground?"

And he doesn't answer, can't find the strength to as he carries her in his arms, and buries his face into her, the tears still not coming. He hears Leah in the background, being restrained by Virgil and their Pokémon as Leah yells, "_Not my sister! That's my little sister you're burying! I won't let you! Damn it, Virgil, let me go! I _won't _let Annette go this way! __**LET ME GO!" **_

Brayden, his strong older brother, has broken once again, on his knees, clawing at the ground, pulling up small pieces of the earth he's cursing as he too, cries, "_Why her? Why? Why?"_He does nothing to hide his sobs and Elodie can only comfort him by rubbing gentle circles on his back through his rain-soaked clothing.

Matthew does nothing but hold Sofie to him and when she asks him why they're throwing dirt onto Mommy, he looks at her, eyes hollow and replies, "Because she had to go away. Can you say goodbye?"

She looks at Matthew, at her father, and then at her mother, whose body is in this casket, being buried into the ground. And she holds up a small hand and waves, "Bye Mommy. " To Matthew, she asks, "When is she coming home?"

And this time, he doesn't answer.

Xxx

It takes Matthew three weeks to even manage to put on a façade for Sofie. He still can't function properly at work and the house feels too empty without Annette there for him. His Pokémon and her Pokémon feel it as well, and they spend their time outside with Sofie as Matthew sits at the kitchen table and drinks his sorrows away. Because, even with a daughter to live with, he doesn't know how he can live for anyone anymore.

It takes another six months before Brayden snaps him out of the stupor. His brother has had enough of his drinking and tells him that Annette would be ashamed of him for what he's been doing with his life and how he's handling her passing. That breaks him out of self-pity because Brayden's right and that stings him, hurts Matthew down to the core and he slowly finds a way to piece back his life.

But it's not until Sofie's eight years old does he tell her what happened with Annette. They spend four days at home, curled up in an old blanket while on their couch, seated in front of the T.V with twelve Pokemon huddled around them. Earlier that month, Matthew had contacted Leah for videos of Annette and any other sort of media that held his deceased wife. And for four days, for long hours, Matthew and Sofie stop only to eat as they go through everything about Annette- from the moment she and Matthew met to her passing.

The cincher of the whole thing is when Sofie places her hand on Matthew's as he's in the middle of telling her about Annette's first Contest. She looks at him, eight years old and all this seriousness in her blue eye, wet from the tears of learning about a mother she knew for so short a time and she tells Matthew, "Daddy; it's okay to cry. Mommy would understand."

His heart clenches and words are frozen in his mouth as the weight of Sofie's words hit him. _It's okay to cry. _Annette's been gone for four years and he's never shed a tear for her, not once. And the simple "It's okay" from his daughter- that breaks the dam and suddenly, his stories and their video viewings, their photo perusing- all of it is punctuated by tears that fall from both Sofie and, most importantly, Matthew. It's like a massive burden has been lifted from his chest, at being able to openly grieve for the person who helped make him who he is today.

It still hurts. It hurt then, it hurt now, but…it doesn't hurt as much. And on the night of their fourth day, when Sofie is asleep, curled up in the arms of her father, Matthew gently rocks her back and forth, silent tears still streaming down his cheeks as he things about the pain- his pain and Annette'spain; his of being left by someone he loved, hers of knowing that she left behind so many people. And he thinks of Leah's pain- the pain of losing the sister she had spent her whole life caring for, Brayden's pain of losing someone he considered his surrogate daughter for the longest time.

But then, he remembers Annette's physical pain, the pain her disease was causing her, how it made living hurt at times.

Matthew falls asleep with the thought that, maybe, just maybe, Annette's passing was the best thing that could have happened in that odd, roundabout way.

Xxx

Two years later and Sofie's ten years old, ready to tackle on the world on her own journey. The three families have agreed to meet at Twinleaf Town for this new generation of Trainers (Eve and Vlad are already off traveling); it's the most convenient for everyone. Matthew and Sofie leave Floaroma with Clefable and Annette's Pachirisu, the other Pokémon being left behind.

The four cousins are all choosing their starters at Twinleaf today, but each one has already received a Pokémon from their parents. Elodie and Brayden have gotten Freya a Vulpix (Brayden really wanted to get an Igglybuff- he's saving it for her sixteenth birthday...or eleventh). Sachiko has received a Ralts and Ko an Elekid. Matthew was the only one unsure about Sofie's other Pokémon. But the problem was solved two weeks prior.

When he and Annette talked it over.

It was the first time he'd dreamt about her and he _knows_ that she's not a figment of his imagination. Because there's no way he could dream about what they talk about. And they talk about everything- from how Matthew's been as a single father to how Annette's been doing ever since death has released her from her pain. Sofie comes up repeatedly and they make a decision, _together_, about her Pokémon. He tells her how he's been feeling guilty about missing her less each day, and how the pain lessens. But she tells him that it's normal, that he's finally moving on past her death, that he was finally healing. Leah and Virigil, Brayden and Elodie- they all come up in this talk and Annette makes Matthew promise to relay messages to them all.

But too soon, she has to leave and she parts with a sad smile, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek. "Be strong, Mattie; you've let me go once, you can do it again. Just hold on to the good things." She And then, she's gone and Matthew wakes up.

It's funny, watching Brayden be dramatic over Freya's leave, entertaining to see how Virigl and Leah are trying not to act all fussy, because this is their third time watching their children leave for a journey. And it's gratifying, hear-clenching, and slightly difficult to watch Sofie leave with her cousins, her Pachirisu nestled in her arms, both of them ready to take on the world. He knows at that moment, that Annette was right, like always: it was okay to hold onto the memories they had of each other, of their love, but it was just as important to let go of all his grief and guilt, just as important to heal and move on.

And as he watches her leave, watches her begin her own journey, Matthew feels two arms wrap around his neck and a soft voice whisper in his ear, "I'll always be here."

**Fin**

* * *

**Author's Notes: **Yes, this was a sad one-shot. It's also unedited and stuff, so, please, excuse any and all mistakes and inconsistencies. They all belong to me.

Anyway, hope your V-Day is better than this one, right?  
If you'd feel as so inclined to, please leave a review!  
-nell


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